Slept horribly. Have a cough. Feel like poo. Dragging ass. Wiped out. Goodnight.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Day 11 - Fast Food Saviors
I made a vow early on in this quest to stop eating at all restaurants that have a drive-thru window. The reality of my world is that I travel almost every day for work and I eat out a lot. I take snacks with me on the road, but quite often I end up eating meals in restaurants.
I have tried to bring an ice chest in my car with some healthy food, but honestly that ended miserably. I'm busy, and admittedly disorganized. I'm always on the go for work or taxiing my kids to activities.
In case of extreme food emergencies when I don't have time to sit down in a restaurant and eat something healthy, I have found some fast food saviors! In fact, Carls Jr nearly saved my life today. I chose the "Charbroiled Barbeque Chicken Sandwich" and an ice tea. The sandwich has 380 calories and only 7 grams of fat. The best part is, it was yummy and filling. It actually had less calories and fat than the salads (something us dieting folks can often be deceived into thinking is always the best choice for us).
I haven't had the opportunity to check out the new Taco Bell "Fresco Menu" choices, but one of my girlfriends highly recommends them. All of the items on the "Fresco Menu" are between 150 and 340 calories and 4 and 8 grams of fat.
Do you think the fast food giants are reading Leaving Lardass? Me neither. Well, whatever is going on it appears that at least a few of the fast food giants are making strides towards providing healthy choices to their clientele.
I have tried to bring an ice chest in my car with some healthy food, but honestly that ended miserably. I'm busy, and admittedly disorganized. I'm always on the go for work or taxiing my kids to activities.
In case of extreme food emergencies when I don't have time to sit down in a restaurant and eat something healthy, I have found some fast food saviors! In fact, Carls Jr nearly saved my life today. I chose the "Charbroiled Barbeque Chicken Sandwich" and an ice tea. The sandwich has 380 calories and only 7 grams of fat. The best part is, it was yummy and filling. It actually had less calories and fat than the salads (something us dieting folks can often be deceived into thinking is always the best choice for us).
I haven't had the opportunity to check out the new Taco Bell "Fresco Menu" choices, but one of my girlfriends highly recommends them. All of the items on the "Fresco Menu" are between 150 and 340 calories and 4 and 8 grams of fat.
Do you think the fast food giants are reading Leaving Lardass? Me neither. Well, whatever is going on it appears that at least a few of the fast food giants are making strides towards providing healthy choices to their clientele.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Day 10 - A Bad Case of the Monday's
Monday hit. I hate it when that happens. I didn't make time to exercise today, and for that I should be beat with large blunt objects. Here I am writing a blog about losing my lardass and I skipped a day of exercise. The morning was a blur, the workday a disaster, and the evening was a cluster**** to the tenth power. Needless to say, I fell into bed and prayed for Monday to go away.
I believe the lesson to be learned here is that sometimes days come at us like freight trains, and it's okay as long as we pick ourselves up and get back to work the next day. (I did very good with the healthy foods today despite my crappy day otherwise!)
I believe the lesson to be learned here is that sometimes days come at us like freight trains, and it's okay as long as we pick ourselves up and get back to work the next day. (I did very good with the healthy foods today despite my crappy day otherwise!)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Day 9 - Changing my Choices
Day 9 was the day to change my choices in the refrigerator and the pantry. I made a list, saddled up the kids, and made a big trip out grocery shopping for good choices. A few items on the list were:
Broccoli
Bananas
Avocados
Blueberries
Brown Rice
Nonfat Yogurt
Nonfat Cottage Cheese
Kidney Beans
Edamame
Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
Ground Turkey
Special K Cereal
Cereal Bars
egg beaters
green tea
mandarin oranges
bell peppers
fresh spinach
tomatoes
flax seeds
oatmeal
I figure if I am surrounded by healthy food I can't go wrong. We made the trip to the grocery store a learning experience. My six year-old kept asking, "Mommy what's healthy about this?" and as we cruised through the store we talked about the importance of making good choices to keep our bodies strong and healthy.
So with all this healthy chow at home, I'm going to be ready to take on the world this week!
Broccoli
Bananas
Avocados
Blueberries
Brown Rice
Nonfat Yogurt
Nonfat Cottage Cheese
Kidney Beans
Edamame
Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
Ground Turkey
Special K Cereal
Cereal Bars
egg beaters
green tea
mandarin oranges
bell peppers
fresh spinach
tomatoes
flax seeds
oatmeal
I figure if I am surrounded by healthy food I can't go wrong. We made the trip to the grocery store a learning experience. My six year-old kept asking, "Mommy what's healthy about this?" and as we cruised through the store we talked about the importance of making good choices to keep our bodies strong and healthy.
So with all this healthy chow at home, I'm going to be ready to take on the world this week!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Day 8 - I'm Getting in Shape to Get in Shape
Took the boys to jujitsu this morning and their professor (who is an 8th degree black belt badass babe that I adore) asked me if I was coming back to train at the dojo. I panicked for a quick second, and replied "I have to get in shape first". She laughed, rolled her eyes, and smiled at me.
The last time I went to her class I could barely walk for a week. I was literally in so much pain that I layed on the couch with icy hot pads on me and took Aleve for the entire weekend. I felt like an 80 year-old with arthritis. This level of pain post-workout is a huge mental deterrant to future workouts.
I've found that for me to stick with a exercise plan it has to be realistic to the level of fitness that I'm currently at. Baby steps. Although I feel like a complete gimp when I work out for 15 minutes and I'm wiped out, I know that if I can just increase my stamina a little at a time I'm more likely to stick with the program. If I go out and kill myself early on, I'm likely to give up and get injured.
For the record, I do plan to get back to jujitsu when I'm feeling a bit more in shape. The jujitsu workouts are brutal and I'll be ready for them soon. I would love nothing more than to become a badass and get in shape!
The last time I went to her class I could barely walk for a week. I was literally in so much pain that I layed on the couch with icy hot pads on me and took Aleve for the entire weekend. I felt like an 80 year-old with arthritis. This level of pain post-workout is a huge mental deterrant to future workouts.
I've found that for me to stick with a exercise plan it has to be realistic to the level of fitness that I'm currently at. Baby steps. Although I feel like a complete gimp when I work out for 15 minutes and I'm wiped out, I know that if I can just increase my stamina a little at a time I'm more likely to stick with the program. If I go out and kill myself early on, I'm likely to give up and get injured.
For the record, I do plan to get back to jujitsu when I'm feeling a bit more in shape. The jujitsu workouts are brutal and I'll be ready for them soon. I would love nothing more than to become a badass and get in shape!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Day 7 - Sleep is My Friend
The importance of a good nights rest can not be understated. Sleep is important for health and wellness, and it's the most yearned for commodity in every young mother's life. I crave sleep. Ever since I was a child I have been a nightowl. I have a hard time shutting down my brain so that I can lay down and go to sleep at night. Once I lay down, I sleep almost instantly, it's just getting there that's the problem. For at least the past 10 years my normal routine includes going to bed sometime between 11pm and 12am and waking up at 6am. I drag myself out of bed and straight to the coffee maker. I'm not even human until I suck down at least two cups of java. I usually don't eat breakfast (another big time no-no!) and then by about 11am, I'm feeling so shakey I can't even think straight. (Brilliant, eh?)
When I look at this, I realize my pattern is terrible on many levels. First of all, every expert in modern medicine says that the human body needs at LEAST 8 hours of sleep a night for wellness. They also all agree that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
I was recently reading an abstract from the American Diabetes Association publication "Diabetes Care" ( http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/31/Supplement_2/S303.abstract ) which talked about the link between abdominal fat and sleep apnea. I suffer from both of these issues. While no one really knows yet if being a lardass causes sleep apnea or if sleep apnea causes lardassitis, it doesn't really matter. The important thing to remember is that sleep and weight gain feed themselves and can become a viscious cycle. There are tons of studies out that talk about the different hormones effected by the sleep cycle and how those hormones interact with weight gain. I'm rather certain that my issues with insulin resistance (which is the cause of polycystic ovarian syndrome) and sleep apnea have contributed greatly to my enlarging body over the years.
So, what the hell am I going to do about it? Well, for starters I gave myself a bedtime. I am going to do my best to be in bed by 10pm, and I'm trying to sleep until 7am when I can. I am also forcing myself to have breakfast every day. This has worked out well this week so far. I find that when I eat breakfast, I think more clearly and I'm less likely to get hungry and become frantic and eat something stupid.
It's really silly that taking care of myself seems like such hard work. I'm enjoying breaking my bad habits though. It's almost like I can feel myself slowly getting better every day.
When I look at this, I realize my pattern is terrible on many levels. First of all, every expert in modern medicine says that the human body needs at LEAST 8 hours of sleep a night for wellness. They also all agree that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
I was recently reading an abstract from the American Diabetes Association publication "Diabetes Care" ( http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/31/Supplement_2/S303.abstract ) which talked about the link between abdominal fat and sleep apnea. I suffer from both of these issues. While no one really knows yet if being a lardass causes sleep apnea or if sleep apnea causes lardassitis, it doesn't really matter. The important thing to remember is that sleep and weight gain feed themselves and can become a viscious cycle. There are tons of studies out that talk about the different hormones effected by the sleep cycle and how those hormones interact with weight gain. I'm rather certain that my issues with insulin resistance (which is the cause of polycystic ovarian syndrome) and sleep apnea have contributed greatly to my enlarging body over the years.
So, what the hell am I going to do about it? Well, for starters I gave myself a bedtime. I am going to do my best to be in bed by 10pm, and I'm trying to sleep until 7am when I can. I am also forcing myself to have breakfast every day. This has worked out well this week so far. I find that when I eat breakfast, I think more clearly and I'm less likely to get hungry and become frantic and eat something stupid.
It's really silly that taking care of myself seems like such hard work. I'm enjoying breaking my bad habits though. It's almost like I can feel myself slowly getting better every day.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Day 6 - Everyone Has to Have Goals
It's Day 6 and I keep getting asked about my goals for this silly blog/diet/exercise/lifestyle change thing I'm doing here. If I suddenly shrunk to a size 0 super-model that would be utterly fantastic. However, I'm not living in a dream-land here. I'm trying to look at this experience as a long term goal to get healthy, not necessarily to "lose weight" only.
I'm not weighing myself every day, because I don't want to obsess with the scale. I did Weight Watchers before and I used to weigh myself a dozen times a day. I was ridiculous. I'm not going there again. Weight is only one way to measure success.
I'm judging my success by how I feel in my clothes. Lord knows I have a closet full of clothes that I haven't been able to squeeze into for a long time. If I can wear them again it will be like having a whole new wardrobe! I might even have to go out and buy some new duds? I can firmly admit that I haven't worn a dress in at least two years. Seriously. I depise the way my legs look in skirts right now, so I wear pants...everywhere. A personal goal for myself will be to wear a dress and feel good wearing it. I felt my most comfortable when I was a size 10, and that is the goal I have set for myself. I don't want to be a Kate Moss type anorexia ad-campaign girl, I want to be me at my best.
I will feel healthy again. Being overweight has made me feel crappy. I am out of breath doing simple tasks and I seem to catch every bug that comes through town as well. Just in the past year I've dealt with:
Obstructive Sleep Apnea
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease
Anxiety/Depression
Sinus Infections
I'm sure that 90% of my illness is the direct result of my weight and lack of physical activity. So my ultimate goal is to GET HEALTHY! I want to feel strong, in shape, and ready to kick some butt again! I want to be able to play soccer with my boys, or do jujitsu with them without being out of breath and so sore I can't move.
To provide motivation my husband and I have agreed to take a Carribbean Cruise when I reach my goals for myself as a reward. I would love nothing more than to wear a bathing suit in public and feel okay with it.
I have a great support system at home and for the first time in my life I feel like I'm setting realistic goals for myself.
I'm not weighing myself every day, because I don't want to obsess with the scale. I did Weight Watchers before and I used to weigh myself a dozen times a day. I was ridiculous. I'm not going there again. Weight is only one way to measure success.
I'm judging my success by how I feel in my clothes. Lord knows I have a closet full of clothes that I haven't been able to squeeze into for a long time. If I can wear them again it will be like having a whole new wardrobe! I might even have to go out and buy some new duds? I can firmly admit that I haven't worn a dress in at least two years. Seriously. I depise the way my legs look in skirts right now, so I wear pants...everywhere. A personal goal for myself will be to wear a dress and feel good wearing it. I felt my most comfortable when I was a size 10, and that is the goal I have set for myself. I don't want to be a Kate Moss type anorexia ad-campaign girl, I want to be me at my best.
I will feel healthy again. Being overweight has made me feel crappy. I am out of breath doing simple tasks and I seem to catch every bug that comes through town as well. Just in the past year I've dealt with:
Obstructive Sleep Apnea
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease
Anxiety/Depression
Sinus Infections
I'm sure that 90% of my illness is the direct result of my weight and lack of physical activity. So my ultimate goal is to GET HEALTHY! I want to feel strong, in shape, and ready to kick some butt again! I want to be able to play soccer with my boys, or do jujitsu with them without being out of breath and so sore I can't move.
To provide motivation my husband and I have agreed to take a Carribbean Cruise when I reach my goals for myself as a reward. I would love nothing more than to wear a bathing suit in public and feel okay with it.
I have a great support system at home and for the first time in my life I feel like I'm setting realistic goals for myself.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Day 5- Lost in the Shuffle
Day 5 was a blur. Up at 6am, off to work. Home at 5pm, then off to a meeting until 10pm. I have not much to report other than, I'm thinking about what I'm eating which is more than I can say for most of my life. I'm tired, I still have that wierd right flank pain.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Day 4 - I'm Starting to Regain Consciousness
I'm talking about food consciousness. It is so easy for me to eat obliviously. I eat the same things, the same wrong things, day after day like I'm in some sort of fat trance. Trying to break that habit has been difficult. I am trying to really think about what I put into my mouth every day and make sure I'm making healthy choices. I'm not going to lie, it's hard for me. Today at approximately 11:45am my car starting pointing towards an In and Out Burger all by itself. I had to think fast to dodge the hamburger giant and ended up eating ahi tuna sushi with some green tea. It's like I'm coming out of the fog of fat or something?
Oh, I have to tell you I bought a bunch of those Kashi protein and fiber bars for emergency snack rations. I put them in my purse, in my car, and in my office. In the hopes that if I got that OMG I NEED FOOD NOW OR I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE feeling, I could choose a Kashi bar instead of say a handful of chocolate and an extra large Coke. I did have a moment today mid-morning when I got a little feeling of hunger, so I tried the Kashi bar. It wasn't bad. It wasn't french fries either. It had the mild taste of peanuts with the texture of tree bark. I'm sure I'll get used to it. *sigh*
I worked out with the kids tonight on Wii sports and had a ball. I think I might have thrown out my shoulder serving a tennis ace, but beating my nine year old was worth it.
And...in case you were wondering, (which you probably weren't, but just in case) the wierd unexplained kidney pain is still there. It comes and goes. I've decided to ignore it and pretend that it doesn't exist. (Kind of like my Kankles.)
Oh, I have to tell you I bought a bunch of those Kashi protein and fiber bars for emergency snack rations. I put them in my purse, in my car, and in my office. In the hopes that if I got that OMG I NEED FOOD NOW OR I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE feeling, I could choose a Kashi bar instead of say a handful of chocolate and an extra large Coke. I did have a moment today mid-morning when I got a little feeling of hunger, so I tried the Kashi bar. It wasn't bad. It wasn't french fries either. It had the mild taste of peanuts with the texture of tree bark. I'm sure I'll get used to it. *sigh*
I worked out with the kids tonight on Wii sports and had a ball. I think I might have thrown out my shoulder serving a tennis ace, but beating my nine year old was worth it.
And...in case you were wondering, (which you probably weren't, but just in case) the wierd unexplained kidney pain is still there. It comes and goes. I've decided to ignore it and pretend that it doesn't exist. (Kind of like my Kankles.)
Monday, January 4, 2010
Day 3 - First Day Back to Work
Today was my first day back to work after the long Christmas break. It didn't go so well to be honest. I didn't sleep well last night and ended up pushing the snooze button about 4000 times before I finally drug my tired ass out of bed. I forced myself to eat a small bowl of Special K with Skim Milk and a banana for breakfast. I then spilled make-up down the front of my nicely pressed blouse and to top it off, dripped some coffee down the front. Yep, it felt like Monday all day today.
After the morning fiasco and 20 minutes of unattaching my son from my leg, (because he wanted to go to work with Mommy today) I headed out to work. My day was fairly uneventful, and I met my hubby and two sons for lunch. I had a seafood salad with the dressing on the side. I only used about 1/3 of the dressing and it was actually fabulous! Cutting down the dressing is a HUGE accomplishment, since I'm a fan of blue cheese and a lot of it!
This afternoon I began to get this wierd twinge of pain in my right flank. Right about where my kidney should be. Ouch. The pain is still there, stabbing away on and off. When I realized my kidney hadn't fallen out I did some medical reasoning and came to the conclusion that I either am developing a kidney infection, a kidney stone, or I'm dying of a rare tropical disease. I'm thinking it could be a kidney stone? Let's all pray that the pain that keeps getting worse just decides to go away. (I really really really don't want to have to go to the DOCTOR!)
Met the kids at Jujitsu (they do Dan Zan Ryu Jujitsu) after work and watched them be little warriors. Had some sushi for dinner and I'm now home, exhausted, wiped....and my kidney hurts. No, I'm not working out today. It's 10:18pm and I'm done.
After the morning fiasco and 20 minutes of unattaching my son from my leg, (because he wanted to go to work with Mommy today) I headed out to work. My day was fairly uneventful, and I met my hubby and two sons for lunch. I had a seafood salad with the dressing on the side. I only used about 1/3 of the dressing and it was actually fabulous! Cutting down the dressing is a HUGE accomplishment, since I'm a fan of blue cheese and a lot of it!
This afternoon I began to get this wierd twinge of pain in my right flank. Right about where my kidney should be. Ouch. The pain is still there, stabbing away on and off. When I realized my kidney hadn't fallen out I did some medical reasoning and came to the conclusion that I either am developing a kidney infection, a kidney stone, or I'm dying of a rare tropical disease. I'm thinking it could be a kidney stone? Let's all pray that the pain that keeps getting worse just decides to go away. (I really really really don't want to have to go to the DOCTOR!)
Met the kids at Jujitsu (they do Dan Zan Ryu Jujitsu) after work and watched them be little warriors. Had some sushi for dinner and I'm now home, exhausted, wiped....and my kidney hurts. No, I'm not working out today. It's 10:18pm and I'm done.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Day 2 - My Workout
So, I decided to get off my rump and get going on this workout thing. Baby steps...
Todays workout consisted of:
3 miles on the elliptical machine (in 15 minutes)
my average heart rate was ~130
10lb free weights - 2 sets of 12 reps
bicep curls
tricep extensions
shoulder press
lateral flys
it's kind of freaky, but I'm actually psyched up right now!
Todays workout consisted of:
3 miles on the elliptical machine (in 15 minutes)
my average heart rate was ~130
10lb free weights - 2 sets of 12 reps
bicep curls
tricep extensions
shoulder press
lateral flys
it's kind of freaky, but I'm actually psyched up right now!
Day 2 - Why Can't French Toast Be Diet Food?
Day 2, and I'm already a miserable failure. I gave in to one piece of Satan Roca (my new name for Almond Roca) last night and this morning I made French Toast (yes, I made it all by myself without someone holding a gun to my head).
French Toast is why I'm fat. Well, I am why I am fat. My obsession with all things carb-filled and fatty. Why can't I be one of those skinny bitches that forgets to eat and orders lettuce with the dressing on the side for lunch? I'm more of the double-double with extra fries and a coke kind of girl. This is why I look like a cinnamon roll with legs.
All has not been lost. Last night I started my exercise routine with 15 minutes on the elliptical machine. I felt like my lungs were going to collapse and my legs were burning at 10 minutes. How did I let myself get this out of shape?
It's painful for me to admit that I was once an athlete. I was in great shape once...many moons ago. I thought my body would always be that way, without the work. I was wrong.
When I stopped competing in college, I stopped exercising regularly.
Then I got married and had babies. Baby #1, I gained 65lbs. Then I lost 30 of that after he was born. Soon after I got prego with Baby #2. I gained 40 more lbs. I lost 10 after he was born. I breast fed like a maniac, but I wasn't the lucky girl that lost all the weight breast feeding. Dammit. I looked like I was still pregnant. Shit.
I joined the local gym, but I soon found out that was where the skinny-bitch latte-sipping supermom's from my kids' school hung out after they dropped their stepford kids off at school. I felt like that Sesame Street bit "which one of these kids is not like the other". I let those bitches intimidate me with their personal trainers and tight asses flitting about the gym. Ugh. So ya, I quit.
So here I am on Day 2 of leaving lardass and I've done a whopping 15 minutes of elliptical and eaten french toast. Somebody slap me.
French Toast is why I'm fat. Well, I am why I am fat. My obsession with all things carb-filled and fatty. Why can't I be one of those skinny bitches that forgets to eat and orders lettuce with the dressing on the side for lunch? I'm more of the double-double with extra fries and a coke kind of girl. This is why I look like a cinnamon roll with legs.
All has not been lost. Last night I started my exercise routine with 15 minutes on the elliptical machine. I felt like my lungs were going to collapse and my legs were burning at 10 minutes. How did I let myself get this out of shape?
It's painful for me to admit that I was once an athlete. I was in great shape once...many moons ago. I thought my body would always be that way, without the work. I was wrong.
When I stopped competing in college, I stopped exercising regularly.
Then I got married and had babies. Baby #1, I gained 65lbs. Then I lost 30 of that after he was born. Soon after I got prego with Baby #2. I gained 40 more lbs. I lost 10 after he was born. I breast fed like a maniac, but I wasn't the lucky girl that lost all the weight breast feeding. Dammit. I looked like I was still pregnant. Shit.
I joined the local gym, but I soon found out that was where the skinny-bitch latte-sipping supermom's from my kids' school hung out after they dropped their stepford kids off at school. I felt like that Sesame Street bit "which one of these kids is not like the other". I let those bitches intimidate me with their personal trainers and tight asses flitting about the gym. Ugh. So ya, I quit.
So here I am on Day 2 of leaving lardass and I've done a whopping 15 minutes of elliptical and eaten french toast. Somebody slap me.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Leaving Lardass - Day 1 "It Begins"
It begins.
The blog I've been putting off for, eh...let's just say a long time. I need this. I do. I need something to motivate me, because on New Year's Eve I woke up and realized I'm fat. I'm past fat, I'm a total lardass.
Developing a lardass seems to have snuck up on me quietly over the years. A few pounds here, a few pounds there. It's not like it was a total secret, quite honestly I have a few failed attempts at Weight Watchers and a few hundred dollars spent on weight loss books from Amazon.com. I seem to be motivated for about a week, and then I lose my mind and order double fries at In and Out Burger again.
In the past two years I've paid the consultation fee to see a plastic surgeon about a tummy tuck (oh make that two consultation fees to two plastic surgeons.) I've purchased a treadmill that became a dusty clothes rack and an eliptical machine that ended up to be a much better place to hang jackets. My "fat jeans" have become too tight. Two people have asked me how far along I am, only I'm not preggers. My father in law bought me a pedometer and a copy of Richard Simmons Cookbook for Christmas (but I wasn't supposed to be offended).
Yesterday I attempted to clean my overflowing closet out and it occurred to me that I have kept clothes from the past 4 sizes that I've eaten myself thru with the hopes that some day I will wear them again. As a result, I can no longer fit even a t-shirt in my closet. My poor husband has roughly a two foot space to cram all of his belongings in the closet into.
I'm not entirely sure why I overeat, but I do. I have a theory, about emotions etc., and I'm hoping this blog and your help (whomever may be reading this) may help me to skinny up and leave lardass behind once and for all.
The blog I've been putting off for, eh...let's just say a long time. I need this. I do. I need something to motivate me, because on New Year's Eve I woke up and realized I'm fat. I'm past fat, I'm a total lardass.
Developing a lardass seems to have snuck up on me quietly over the years. A few pounds here, a few pounds there. It's not like it was a total secret, quite honestly I have a few failed attempts at Weight Watchers and a few hundred dollars spent on weight loss books from Amazon.com. I seem to be motivated for about a week, and then I lose my mind and order double fries at In and Out Burger again.
In the past two years I've paid the consultation fee to see a plastic surgeon about a tummy tuck (oh make that two consultation fees to two plastic surgeons.) I've purchased a treadmill that became a dusty clothes rack and an eliptical machine that ended up to be a much better place to hang jackets. My "fat jeans" have become too tight. Two people have asked me how far along I am, only I'm not preggers. My father in law bought me a pedometer and a copy of Richard Simmons Cookbook for Christmas (but I wasn't supposed to be offended).
Yesterday I attempted to clean my overflowing closet out and it occurred to me that I have kept clothes from the past 4 sizes that I've eaten myself thru with the hopes that some day I will wear them again. As a result, I can no longer fit even a t-shirt in my closet. My poor husband has roughly a two foot space to cram all of his belongings in the closet into.
I'm not entirely sure why I overeat, but I do. I have a theory, about emotions etc., and I'm hoping this blog and your help (whomever may be reading this) may help me to skinny up and leave lardass behind once and for all.
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