Today I am Tired

I got up this morning and made a protein shake. I took my car in to the shop for a much needed oil change. (I've been putting that off forever.) I drove home, watered my plants, and sent off a few emails for work. 

Then I looked in the mirror. I look like a ghost lady. I'm getting big dark circles under my eyes. I sent my husband a selfie, to see if he noticed any change in my face. His response "you look tired". I guess I am tired. 

So my afternoon plan was to take a nap. I suck at naps. Usually I can never sleep during the day. I instructed the demon spawn to let me sleep and not enter my room. I laid down and slept off and on for 2 hours. The smallest spawn came in twice and woke me up "to make sure I was still alive". So much for uninterrupted snoozing. I tried. 

So I'm up sipping water and getting ready to watch a preseason football game on the tube. 

I can't hardly stand this little vacation.

One Week Post-Op - I Feel Pregnant

I feel pregnant. Not like 'there is a baby in my tummy' pregnant, but more of a 'I'm going to hurl every morning' pregnant. 

It seems like each morning I'm greeted with this gnawing sense of barf-o-rama feeling. I'm okay after I choke down a protein shake and some water. If this keeps up, they're going to think I have morning sickness when I go back to work. I'll be the source of many amusing rumors. They think I'm on vacation this week. 

No doubt this diet of chocolate and vanilla shitshakes is horrifying on every level, but my bathroom scale says I'm down 19lbs today. 19lbs in one week? I can only believe that my bathroom scale has lost it's mind. Or I had 19lbs of fluid loss? Either that, or this big ass surgical intervention is actually working. To that I say, hallefuckinglujah!

For the most part, at one week post-op, I feel pretty damn good. I'm up, moving around and causing trouble. I'm bossing my kids around like I'm Kim Jong Il. I'm not sleeping all day. I'm not taking any pain meds. I haven't had anything for pain since I left the hospital. I'm bored off my ass. My belly itches at all five incision sites. I've resorted to sitting at my computer sipping water and protein while buying shit I don't need on Amazon and perusing "for when I can eat again" recipes on Pinterest.

Each day is better and I keep reminding myself why I did this. One day I will have a great ass in yoga pants. 

I'm Going Stir Crazy!

You might not know this, but I'm kind of a workaholic. This being off 12 days may kill me. I don't know how to chill.

There is 100% chance if you asked my family, they'd all say I'm insane right now. I'm 6 days post-op, and I feel great. I'm concentrating on sipping my protein and water so I don't get dehydrated. I'm bored silly.

So, I decided to make a ginormous pot of organic chicken stock. I tossed in a whole organic chicken, a bunch of celery, carrots, a few onions, a bulb of garlic, fresh thyme, rosemary, and sage. I seasoned it with sea salt and black pepper and let it rip on the stove. (I made my 13 year old son lift the heavy pot onto the stove for me, because I have a 15lb weight limit for 5 more weeks.)

When it's done, I'll strain it and portion the broth. I'll take the chicken and veggies out and freeze them for later. I can sip this delicious broth now, and later I can purée the meat and veggies in when I'm on soft foods. 

I'm not going to let this liquid diet cramp my style. 

Living on Protein Shakes and Dreams

I bought a few cases of these Premier Protein shakes at Costco prior to surgery in chocolate and vanilla flavoring. They have been a God send in getting my protein in each day. I'm literally living on these things right now.  As an admitted foodie, I am beside myself with boredom eating this diet. Thank goodness that they taste pretty good. 

I hear that they also make protein bars (for when I can eat like a normal human being again someday). I'm looking forward to trying those also. 

Post-Op Day 6

I've been home from the hospital for a few days now, and each day I feel better. The pain is subsiding, and the soreness from the gas seems to be better. My incisions are itchy, so I guess they're healing normally. 

My biggest challenge now is getting in the necessary protein and fluids at this point. I'm not hungry. Water makes my stomach cramp. I've figured out that if I make luke warm herbal tea, I can sip the fluids better. I'm forcing myself to sip on protein shakes all day in between. I'm constantly sipping, it seems. I don't want to end up back in the hospital with dehydration, so I'm trying to be diligent.

Yesterday I was really nauseas when I woke up. I was scared to death that I was going to hurl. Hurling would be very painful.

I didn't hurl, thankfully. I did have my first BM post-op which scared me almost as much as the thought of hurling. Lets just say everything came out okay. I was cursing my doctor the night before surgery for making me do a bowel prep. Now I understand, and I'd like to publicly thank him for that gift.

I've been sitting up in a chair most of the time, doing well. I'm not gonna lie, I may use this excuse to buy a new comfy living room chair. I miss my auto-adjustable hospital bed with its flexible positioning, tethered TV remote, phone, and call bell.

Yesterday was the first day I didn't take a big nap. My family all came to see me, and with everyone visiting I didn't sleep. Then I had a hard time getting to sleep last night because I couldn't find a comfortable position. I ended up sleeping for about 5 hours and then getting up and painting my nails. 

My dream is to someday sleep for 8 hours a night on average. That would be so amazing. 

The good news is, I'm getting caught up on all my trashy reality TV shows and creating the longest Honey-Do list for the hubby ever. 

72 Hours Post- Op

The pain is much better today. Getting in and out of bed is a bitch, but I can do it slowly. 

I hurt in weird places, like my chest/shoulders, and my groins. My doc says that most of this pain is due to the CO2 gas that they pumped my abdomen full of during surgery. Couldn't they just be kind and deflate me when they were done?

I'm also sore at the incision sites. I have  5 incisions across my tummy from the laparoscopes. I've been up walking the halls all day today pretty much on the hour. I've doing laps around the nurses station like I'm a NASCAR or something. 

Today they've had me sipping 30cc of water alternating with 30cc protein shake every 15 minutes. I've been getting it down pretty well. Oddly, the water is harder for me to get down. I get a little cramping as it hits my stomach. 

I've had hardly any pain meds. I didn't tolerated the morphine pump (it made me nauseated and I could barely pee), so they put neon oral Percocet, which worked great, but I had a massive allergic reaction. Good times. Now I've got liquid Lortab (pretty much just disgusting liquid  Vicodin). It helps take the edge off. 

I'm also getting these lovely heparin injections into my abdomen a few times per day. They sting like a son of a bitch, but I guess it's way better than getting a blood clot. 

I've had some acid reflux and they started out with IV Pepcid, that didn't help at all. I talked them into giving me Protonix IV, and my heartburn is gone. I'm glad they listened to me. 

Today's big event is that I blew out my IV and my forearm swelled up and doubled in size. It ached like a mofo. I bribed my doc into not starting another IV since I'm planning on going home tomorrow. I'm so swollen, everywhere. I feel like a puffy prednisone baby. 

I'm hoping to go home tomorrow if everything stays the way it is. I'm ready to get the heck outta here.

Almost 48 Hours Post-Op

I'm sore. I'm exhausted. I'm grumpy.

I'm still in the hospital. Will update when my fingers are free of gadgets.