Day 2, and I'm already a miserable failure. I gave in to one piece of Satan Roca (my new name for Almond Roca) last night and this morning I made French Toast (yes, I made it all by myself without someone holding a gun to my head).
French Toast is why I'm fat. Well, I am why I am fat. My obsession with all things carb-filled and fatty. Why can't I be one of those skinny bitches that forgets to eat and orders lettuce with the dressing on the side for lunch? I'm more of the double-double with extra fries and a coke kind of girl. This is why I look like a cinnamon roll with legs.
All has not been lost. Last night I started my exercise routine with 15 minutes on the elliptical machine. I felt like my lungs were going to collapse and my legs were burning at 10 minutes. How did I let myself get this out of shape?
It's painful for me to admit that I was once an athlete. I was in great shape once...many moons ago. I thought my body would always be that way, without the work. I was wrong.
When I stopped competing in college, I stopped exercising regularly.
Then I got married and had babies. Baby #1, I gained 65lbs. Then I lost 30 of that after he was born. Soon after I got prego with Baby #2. I gained 40 more lbs. I lost 10 after he was born. I breast fed like a maniac, but I wasn't the lucky girl that lost all the weight breast feeding. Dammit. I looked like I was still pregnant. Shit.
I joined the local gym, but I soon found out that was where the skinny-bitch latte-sipping supermom's from my kids' school hung out after they dropped their stepford kids off at school. I felt like that Sesame Street bit "which one of these kids is not like the other". I let those bitches intimidate me with their personal trainers and tight asses flitting about the gym. Ugh. So ya, I quit.
So here I am on Day 2 of leaving lardass and I've done a whopping 15 minutes of elliptical and eaten french toast. Somebody slap me.
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I love your blog! I like that you are honest about how hard it is to lose weight and change eating habits. I was not a HS athlete. I was always on the chubby side. I worked hard for a long time to lose weight and it has been slipping back on. I am back to working hard again, too. I am happy to join you and read your story.
ReplyDeleteThanks! People are really reading my babble? Totally cool. Sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to myself here. :)
ReplyDeletebtw, you are my very first blog comment! Yay!
ReplyDeleteHere to say I am behind you!! I to put on some really unnecessary weight love food and hate to exercise..AND I can make a mean french toast!! UGH!
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